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A seemingly straightforward question, one that many queer women, femmes, and non-binary people are asked with relative frequency. The act of which sometimes feels aggressive, sometimes invasive, and sometimes salacious. It depends who is asking, in what context, and what it is that they’re really trying to figure out.

So, let’s suppose you’ve asked me with genuine curiosity, with kindness, with just an ounce of desire. Let’s suppose I’m feeling generous, and contemplative, and perhaps a little masochistic.

Supposing all of that…I guess I’ll tell you.

There isn’t a whole lot to it, really. It’s not all overlapping legs, and…

My journey of cheating, chaos, and coming out.

The first time I cheated on my boyfriend was the day before our six-year anniversary. I’d been engaging in what some might call an “emotional affair” for months with someone at work. Well, not just someone. A female friend of mine who was (recently) married to another woman.

It may shock you to know that none of the relationships involved in this affair survived. Least of all the one that blossomed between me and my co-worker.

We had a full-fledged affair for six months, during which I felt alive, frenzied, and intoxicated. Even when it was painful, it was thrilling…

Ru at a cottage, one month after we got her. The look of worry on her face says it all.

This story does not start, nor will it end, with the familiar saccharine sentiment about the dog I rescued having actually rescued me. One year into this whole dog ownership thing and I am still about 25% sure that my partner and I shouldn’t have done it. What would our lives be like if we hadn’t adopted a dog, or perhaps just hadn’t adopted this dog?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not some sort of monster who doesn’t like dogs. Although, I am a recovering Cat Person ( I still do really like cats! I just had one that…

(Feeling other people’s feelings. Source: here.)

Have you ever been told, perhaps by a particularly nasty ex, or an impatient parent, that you have “too many feelings”? Maybe you’ve felt gaslit or cast aside when you tell someone how you feel or when you struggle to express exactly what is that you’re feeling. Do you self-identify as “sensitive” or “moody?” Do you ever just catch a “vibe” when you walk into a room or feel a shift but can’t quite pinpoint what it is?

If you said yes to most of the above — you might be a Highly Sensitive Person.

As a kid, I knew…

Pew pew! (Source: Reddit)

We all have that story, the one of where we were and what we were doing on the day of September 11th. Perhaps mine is less compelling because I was in Canada (French class, 8th grade). I am not entirely sure why I feel the need to validate or quantify whether my story is compelling or not, and in comparison to whose story I am not sure. Perhaps it’s the writer in me. Perhaps it’s the Canadian in me.

As a country, we are cast, always, in the shadow of our neighbour.

Last night I fell asleep to the thought…


Starting somewhere…

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